Dear Lady on Social Media who Lost a Child to Fentanyl


As many of you know, I am a teacher. Last year, I decided to switch school districts to be closer to home. I applied at an elite school that everyone wants their child to be in, and to say it was quite the change is an understatement, some in good ways (hardly any fights) and others that were appalling (prejudice and entitlement).

Now before I go any further, let me say that I still valued each and every child in my classroom. I'm just noting the culture of the school to better paint the picture for you of an incident that happened towards the end of the school year. This happened in a top-notch, A-grade high school.

A police officer came to present a video showing the dangers of Fentanyl, a powerful drug that is being laced in other drugs, unbeknownst to the buyer. It seems the stronger drug can make a person become addicted far more quickly and the smallest of amounts can kill you. According to UCLA Health, 22 high school-aged students a week died from Fentanyl-laced prescription pills in 2022. A lot more is being laced than just the pills, so that is probably just the tip of the iceberg.

From the very start of the video, every time a drug was shown or the use of a drug was shown, the auditorium would erupt in thunderous applause and cheers. It was so bad they had to stop the video and  turn on the lights. An administrator took the microphone to chastise the students and threaten them with repercussions if they continued. 

It was embarrassing on the surface, the lack of respect alone was mortifying, but what does it mean underneath the surface, in terms of drug use or tolerance towards it? Were the students just showboating for their peers? Or does it run deeper? I have no idea.

Today, on social media, I saw where a parent shared the story of her 17-year-old dying from taking something that was laced with Fentanyl. Maybe she did it as an outlet for her grief. Maybe she did it to enlighten others so they would talk to their children. Maybe it was a combination of reasons. No one would know but her. The comments though, were rough. 

I know people on social media can be harsh, but this lady lost her only child, and people were repeatedly saying it was her fault. I've written this for her. She will probably never see the post, but I want to say this: it's not your fault. 

As a teacher in a school full of refined children who will open the door for you, always speak politely to you, consider their grades important, have their life plans already forming (and are taking action steps to get there), and so on and so forth, I GUARANTEE you their parents have no idea what kind of behavior they exhibited in the auditorium that day. I guarantee you they do not believe their children would purchase a drug laced with Fentanyl, much less take it. I guarantee you they do not think it could be their child. And let's hope they are right. But statistics show that maybe they are not.

You can't know everything your child will or will not do. All you can do is educate them, hope they listen and pray they never take the opportunity to say yes to a substance they shouldn't be touching. And even then, they still might and if they do, it's not your fault. It's not your fault.  Where in the world is the empathy? My heart goes out to that mother who shared on social media, and to all of the parents who have lost a child to Fentanyl. I can only imagine the pain that lingers from that kind of a hurt. 

What is the action plan? I don't know. And my little post online will only be seen by a very small number of people. It won't help anyone or anything. But I wanted you to know... 

because all of this, is not a small problem.

Comments

  1. Entitled and brats. I can feel your frustration. It's not the parents fault at all. What a great post. Bless you, my friend.

    Have a fabulous day and week. Hugs. ♥

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  2. What an absolutely horrifying thing. I can't imagine what it's like to lose a child, and in such an avoidable and terrible way, too.

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  3. This explosion of fentanyl is absolutely nuts. It's so dangerous on every single level. It can kill the first time!

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  4. I feel for that lady. Shame on anyone who were being cruel to her. I hope she does see this post. It is not her fault.

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  5. Your post highlights a heartbreaking reality with clarity and compassion. The indifference shown by students during the Fentanyl presentation and the harsh judgments on social media towards a grieving mother are deeply troubling. Your reminder that blaming parents in such circumstances is unfair resonates profoundly. Thank you for shedding light on this important issue and advocating for empathy and understanding in the face of tragedy.

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  6. Empathy is a double edged sword. It hurts - but how much worse we are without it. My heart goes out to this stranger. And no, parents don't/can't know everything. However much they wish/think they do.

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  7. What is wrong with people? It wasn't her fault. You can raise the best kid ever but it only takes one moment of poor judgement. And when it comes to Fentanyl, you're right, it could be in everything. And it continues to pour across our border and into people's lives...

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  8. People suck as they hide behind their little computer screen. The only way it would be her fault is if she gave it to her child. Otherwise, people need to bugger off and show a little compassion or at least respect and keep their stupid comments to themselves. Sometimes dealing with self entitled brats too, lucky you. Cheering during the presentation is stupid, but then teenagers are rather lacking in the smart decision making department many a time. Hence, why you can do the absolute best and your kid could have one bad decision and that could be it.

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  9. This is horrible. I actually stunned at how the students responded. Death is not funny and this is what usually happens with this drug. Most have no idea this is what they are taking. For instance they may think they are using pain pills only to die because it was Fentanyl.

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  10. As a parent this breaks my heart to know that these kids are being so disrespctful. I try to instill respect into my kids.

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  11. That is such a shame about all those who were just making everything worse. You can tell it certainly isn't the parents fault. My heart goes out to parent.

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  12. It is absolutely alarming to see the fatal effects of Fentanyl. While I agree that social media has its effects, in this case rude to the point to offense but it acts as a medium to create awareness.

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  13. Thank you for sharing this and supporting that grieving mother. Your compassion and perspective as a teacher are much needed.

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  14. I have heard so many terrible things about fentanyl. It sounds like these kids were showing off in front of each other in school - all we can do is try our best to educate them of the dangers.

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  15. People hide behind social media to be cruel to others. I am glad we have teachers like you who show compassion.

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  16. Thank you momma, for sharing this. I believe that lady has received your encouragement here.

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  17. It's heartbreaking to hear about the loss that parent experienced, and it's understandable to feel frustrated with the lack of empathy sometimes found online.

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  18. As a parent that horrifies me. People should be offering support to this mother not being cruel.

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  19. When I read this earlier, I was very sad at how people treated her. Thank you for showing compassion and support to this mom. People are so easily opinioned on social media without even knowing this lady and her circumstances......instead of being rude people need to learn to love and be supportive.

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  20. This is such a heart-wrenching moment for the mother and as a mom myself, I can't imagine the grief she's feeling losing a child. Those students need to learn the gravity of the situation and not be so rude.

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  21. omg this is horrible!!! Losing a child or anyone to drugs is soooo sad....My heart goes out to every parent that lost a child, so sad!

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  22. This is horrible. My heart breaks for her. I can’t imagine having to go through this.

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  23. It's horrible but not surprising. We now have a culture that glorifies drug use in shows, games, and films. Entertainers who young people look up to promote drug use. We have an official calendar day to celebrate pot and that slow decline of understanding the dangers of drug use is how we have now gotten to this point where people are so ignorant to the dangers of it and how even the most 'benign' drug is a stepping stone to others. How can we seriously expect young people to fear the consequences of drugs when we have states legalizing them? That's where it has all gone wrong. I've watched it closely amongst my own friends and I've lost too many people to drugs. So this behavior isn't shocking to me.

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  24. Sometimes the best approach is to simply ignore social media. In fact, when getting so many negative comments, it's wise to turn it all off for a week or two.

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  25. This blog post is a poignant and heartfelt reflection on the complexities of teaching in an elite school and the harrowing realities of drug abuse among teenagers. The author candidly shares their shock and concern over the students' reaction to a serious presentation about Fentanyl, highlighting a disturbing disconnect between the students' outward behavior and the gravity of the issue.

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  26. I am sending so much love and light and goodwill to all that are involved in this tragedy.

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  27. It is tough when parents have to battle their children's addiction. So sad that this parent went through that and lost a child.

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  28. I am so sorry for the lady who lost her child and whoever is leaving nasty comments on her post must see a psychiatrist to check their mental health. Thanks for shedding light on this.

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  29. My eldest is 19 and I often worry about things like this as he likes to go out to clubs with his mates

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  30. This is sad, I am sorry for the lady who had lost a child that she really love. This has a lot of moral after you read it.

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  31. Drug use has unfortunately become much more acceptable these days, and the Fentanyl epidemic has made things so much worse.

    How can people cannot show empathy towards the woman who lost her child?

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  32. That’s really so sad. I can feel for that mother. That’s really so disgusting how can people be so cruel to her.

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  33. This is just a heartbreaking reminder on how rude and shameless people can be. Thank you for shedding light on her story and your support. This world would not survive without people caring and showing kindness to one another -AJ

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  34. It's unfortunate how many kids get trapped into the use of drugs. Parents must be very careful attention to child. Sorry for the mother who lost her child to that.

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  35. Definitely not her fault. I have 3 siblings. All hardcore drug users (meth, heroin, cocaine) and while I never considered using drugs, it was definitely not my mom's fault the other 3 started using. It's a culture of glorifying drug use, of bucking the system, of minds that aren't fully mature thinking that they are untouchable. It's peer pressure and a quick way to escape reality. Instead of showing a video, maybe bring in addicts to tell their stories. One year ago this August my brother overdosed on heroin (this was his 4th or 5th OD by this point). He was dead but by some miracle they brought him back. He now has almost no use of his left hand and arm and walks with a limp on his left side because of the nerve damage he caused. It's humiliating for him, a 35 year old man, having to ask his mother to cut up his steak because he can't do it himself. The stints in and out of prison and hospitals would make your head spin. But was it my mom's fault he made those life choices? No. A parent can do all they can to guide their child in the right direction, but ultimately they can and will make their own choices in life. I highly doubt those kids would have the gall to cheer in my brother's face for his drug use. They are desensitized because of music and movies glorifying it on screen. Getting a real, hard look at how it does affect a person though? Probably would do more good than a video. Prayers to that mama who lost her child.

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    Replies
    1. Oh my gosh, Theresa, you're family's been through it. I'm so sorry to hear it. xoxo
      Yes, maybe in-person would be better but I don't know (there seems to be a big culture shift in what is okay to say/do in terms of respect)? Anything's worth trying if it gets the message across, even if it just one child decides to opt out, it would be worth it to try. The number of people dying is staggering. I'm glad your brother was not one of them.

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  36. Thank you for sharing this poignant and eye-opening story about the dangers of Fentanyl. It's heartbreaking to hear about the impact this powerful drug is having on young lives. Education and awareness are crucial in combating this epidemic, and your experience at the elite school sheds light on the importance of addressing these issues early on. My thoughts are with the lady on social media who lost a child to Fentanyl and with all those affected by this devastating crisis. Let's continue to spread awareness and support each other in fighting against drug abuse.

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  37. So heartbreaking for any parent to have to lose their child.

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  38. My heart goes out the mother. I just can't imagine! Glad you got a job closer to home!

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  39. I feel so badly for the mother who lost her child that is so heartbreaking. I can't believe that the student were cheering during the drug video that is shocking!
    heather hgtempaddy

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