This is a collaborative post. Please welcome today's contributor.
It's that time of year when everyone is talking about love and all things related to it (hello, Valentine's Day). I'm not an expert, of that you can be sure, and in light of true transparency, those of you who know me, know I did not write this article (bah humbug, lol). Today's writer, however, believes in romance 100% and they have some tips to share you! Considering it's almost February 14th, I'd say it's a very timely submission. Shall we begin?
Most people who have been part of a relationship or marriage for some time will always tell you that they cannot be taken for granted. When they are, that’s when one or both parties stop making the effort, and things only deteriorate from there.
It’s important to think of a relationship or marriage as a fire to be kindled, then, rather than a vessel to be filled, or a task to complete. We have as much responsibility to this forty years down the line as we do two months in.
Of course, nurturing love and honesty at the same time is essential. The two feed into one another, and reinforce each virtue. If you can achieve that, then you can achieve anything as a couple. After all, our better half need not only be our love interest, but our life ally, and our best friend. It’s okay not to fawn over one another every single day with overzealous romantic displays, but that undercurrent of deep, mature love should be well tended to in order to keep it vibrant.
In this post, we’ll discuss a few measures for achieving exactly that:
Take Time For One Another
It’s hard to nurture one another if you’re not present together. Of course, couples have plenty of responsibilities to deal with in the reality of life, be that raising a family, working careers, or taking care of elderly relatives. Life can sometimes get in the way, but we must remember that our relationship is also a foundational aspect of our life, and sharing the load in this way can be key.
Taking time for one another, even if that means taking your breakfast together, spending an hour in each other’s compy during the weekend, and heading on morning weekend walks with your dog is key. Booking ‘date nights’ is also a lovely way to reconnect with one another. Sometimes, this may just mean cooking a special meal together or as a treat. Other times, heading to a great restaurant is a lovely idea. The more you can invest this time, the better you sustain one another, and remind each other of that deep, original love you share.
Care For One Another’s ‘Flaws’
Everyone has flaws. The funny thing is, the flaws we believe we have in ourselves are rarely those that bother others, sometimes, they have may noticed one of our blind spots instead, but still tolerate it and love us for it all the same.
While it’s important to make sure we help the other person improve, we must be careful of molding them into someone they’re not just to be satisfied. Honesty and a willingness to care is always essential, no matter if that involves Priligy, finally helping your loved one grive the loss of a relative (which they have had a good habit of hiding their emotions from), or even heading to a counselor should you need to work through an issue.
Admit When You’ve Been Struggling
It’s okay to admit when you’ve been having a rough go of things as of late. If we cannot confide in our loved one, who can we confide in, outside of an impartial professional? Couples are better when they admit to one another that they need help, or that they haven’t been themselves lately.
If you’ve been feeling like this - get it all out in the open. A problem shared is a problem halved. If you can do this, then you open the space for your partner to admit when they’re not happy, or worried about work, or tired, or feel as though their intentions are being misread. This kind of vulnerability is essential in relationships, because as humans, we can definitely become vulnerable and weak from time to time.
Share Your Changes Of Opinion Or Taste
People change over time. That’s just a reality of the world we live in. Some people may suggest that ‘people never change,’ but that’s hard to believe, because if there’s anything we can rely on in this wild world of ours, it’s that change takes place constantly. Why should we be any different?
It might be that you’re just not the same person you were twenty years ago. This can be as simple as telling your partner that the favorite meal they cook for you is something you’re not interested in any longer, because you’d rather eat more vegan foods. Maybe holidays you used to take together, like ocean cruises, feel increasingly tiresome despite their luxury. It’s okay to admit this and to bring it to light. You cannot be expected to like the same things forever.
Knowing that gives your partner the room to bring this topic up on their own behalf, too. We can afford them the same respect. A marriage that lasts decades doesn’t last simply because every single day was perfect and because the two people involved stayed absolutely static during that time. Marriage or long-term relationships involve many chapters, many ‘story arcs’, and many changes of character, as it were. Helping the other achieve the best of that can be ideal, then, and reinforces your partnership on a stronger, more fundamental grounding.
Don’t Be Afraid To Reassert Yourself
This may sound strange to say, but sometimes, relationships can become ‘too familiar.’ That is, after a while, you become so recognizable to one another that it’s easy for you both to just assume how the other will feel about a given action before even asking.
From time to time, then, you need to assert yourself. This might mean suggesting that yes, the time is now to learn how to put the toilet seat down after use (so nothing falls in it), or that no, we won’t accept that your partner just ‘doesn’t know how to’ clean the bathroom. Long-term relationships are built on mutual respect, and that often means learning how to express your own respect for yourself.
With this advice, you’re certain to nurture love and honesty in a committed relationship, along the most durable possible lines.
Thank you to today's contributor. 4 more days until Valentine's Day!! Wishing you all a wonderful holiday celebration.