Saturday, February 2, 2013

Saying Goodbye to my Brother


As a blogger, you want to write about happy things, and you hesitate to share when something really tragic or sad happens.  That's where I've been the last couple of days.

Relationships of respect form with other bloggers, and you feel like you at least in part, know them...and you always appreciate them, but when it comes to something intensely personal that affects you to your very core, you're not sure how to say it, or even if you should.

I got a call from my aunt letting me know they'd found my half-brother dead, and that foul play was suspected. He was healthy, and full of life and happy.  To him there was no such thing as a stranger.  His four children, all grown, are mourning. I talked to the youngest last night on the telephone: she was overcome with the sorrow that comes from unexpectedly losing your dad.

My brother and I lost our father, many years ago when my mom was nine months along, carrying me.  Everyone says my brother was a lot like our dad.  He looked just like him, acted a lot like him, and he shared his name.  For those who knew and loved my dad, getting the phone call brings it all back for them and they are mourning times two (old wounds are easier to open than you might suspect). Senseless tragedy in a family is hard to grasp when it's even one time, senseless tragedy times two should just not come to pass. 

I didn't know my half-brother very well.  His mother remarried and had more children and those were the sisters with whom he grew up.  The few times in life we visited though, his love of life and his family were always evident, and seeing him, talking to him, having him tell me he loved me, was always like having a small piece of my dad back too.  Every time I saw my brother it was a gift, and even though those visits weren't near often enough, I'm going to miss him.

38 comments:

Suzan Sweatman said...

Oh Rosey I'm so sorry to hear of this - this is the 3rd episode with brothers this week -
Cecilia from the B Farm lost hers - and now Diana from Nana Diana
has left this morning to rush down to her brothers side because of an unexpected illness that does not look very good..............
Big big hugs to you my friend..............
And much love,
Suzan

mary_smith said...

I'm SO sorry to hear this. Sending happy thoughts, hugs and lots of love you way!

Pat Hatt said...

Sorry to hear such a thing occured, yeah old wounds are easy to open up when the same crap happens. And the blogging world is surely here when something happens and one needs to vent or just tell.

Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh, I'm SO, SO, sorry! And, you're right, old wounds ARE easily reopened!

Our Neck of the Woods said...

This is such a horrible loss. I am very sorry, Rosey. There is no way he can ever be replaced. I hope your family can find peace and bring the person to justice if foul play was the case.

Optimistic Existentialist said...

So sorry to hear this Rosey. Words are never adequate but I wish to express my sympathy. Your blogging family is here for you.

Kelly (Our Everyday Harvest) said...

Oh dear...I am so very sorry to hear about your loss. My prayers are with you and your family. Hugs!

Jen said...

Oh no! I am so sorry for your loss, my heart breaks for you. Sending lots of love and prayers.

Secondary Roads said...

I am so sorry for your loss. You are in our thoughts and prayers.

Brandy said...

Sending you a great big hug friend! We are here for you during your time of loss and grief. Love to you and yours!

Christina Morley said...

I'm so sorry! I'll pray for you and the extended family. I'll also pray for the investigators to find out what happened.

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry for your loss :(

Nonny said...

I am sorry to hear about the loss of your brother.
You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Nonny

Jodi S said...

So sorry to hear abou your brothe, it is never easy to lose someone :(you and your family are in my thoughts. take the time you need to be with family and heal. it is the only way.

Karen Glatt said...

I am so sorry for your loss. But I wanted to tell you something, My brother died on 1/7/2013. He was only 50 years old. I am still in a state of shock, and wish that I would have seen him more. Make sure to see your family members and make sure that you say tons of nice things to them because you never know when a loved one will leave us. God Bless you during this heartbreaking time.

bill elliott said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
adrienne warren said...

hugs, a quiet table near the window, a cup of hot chocolate and hugs,

bill elliott said...

I am very sorry to hear about your loss Rosey.
I lost my brother 2 years ago from a massive heart
attack. He was never sick a day in his life. He
woke one morning and was going fishing with a
friend, he picked up the telephone to call him to
get ready, but before his friend could answer my
brother collapsed to the ground dead from a massive
heart attack. We never know when are time on earth
is going to end, just know he is in a much better place
and will always be in your heart. I am keeping you in
my prayers.

My Journey With Candida said...

So sad when a loved one passes. I hope you can get to a good place in your heart and mind. It takes awhile but one day... You will see something that reminds you of your brother and have a good feeling.

Judy Haughton-James said...

Hi Rosey,
I am so sorry to read of the death of your brother. My sincere condolences to you and your family. I know what this experience is like having lost my father, identical twin sister and a brother. My thoughts and prayers are with you all. Take care.
Judy

kristi said...

Hi Rosey,

I am really sorry to hear this very sad news. My condolences (and hugs) to you and your family.I hope that the support here from your blogger friends brings you some comfort.

Kristi

Raising Reagan said...

Agh .. Rosey. Sending a HUGE *HUG* your way. I'm sorry about that. You know that we are always here to support you!
Thank you for sharing this, even though it was painful.

¤´¨)
¸.•*´
(¸¤ Lanaya | xoxo
www.raising-reagan.com

Kristi - Finding Ninee said...

Rosey,
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. And I know what you mean about it being hard to share actual tragedy and sorrow on a blog. I'm glad you did share. Hugs.

alissa apel said...

I'm so sorry to hear this! :(

I do think it's healthy to blog about. I to questioned a lot of the things I wanted to blog. My nephew Emerson is lucky to be alive. My Grandma had Alzheimer's disease for 10 years. She passed away in the fall. It really helped to write down my feelings. I got support through blogging friends.

I wish you would have been able to get to know your brother better! Especially since he was a lot like your dad. It's hard on the family enough that he's gone, but to know there is foul play in the picture makes it harder! Hang in there! Hugs!

Yvonne said...

I'm so very sorry to hear this. My deep sympathies to you and your family.

BusyWorkingMama said...

Oh I am so, so sorry to read this. I have been lucky to keep all my loved ones near me for the most part. My thoughts are with you!

Doreen@househoneys said...

Losing loved ones is never easy, but particularly when there is foul play suspected. I wish you and your family peace and closure regarding what happened. You have my deepest sympathies.

Theresa said...

I am so very sorry to hear this Rosey! It's never easy to lose a relative, no matter how close you were. I am hoping your family gets the answers they need to find peace and closure. Hugs!

mail4rosey said...


Karen, I don't see a way to respond to you, but wanted to tell you I'm very sorry you lost your brother.

Masshole Mommy said...

I am so sorry for your loss. Losing a loved one is never easy, whether you were close or not. I'll be keeping you and your family in my thoughts!

~ Noelle said...

Oh hon.. I am so sorry for your loss. Losing a loved one is never easy, no matter what.. I hope that you find comfort in the days ahead... hugs to you...

Annmarie Pipa said...

I am sorry for your loss.

Carole said...

How horrible for you and all your family. Kia kaha Rosey. (That means stay strong in Maori)

Mel@Mellywood's Mansion said...

Oh Rosey, I'm sorry to hear about your brother, I will be thinking of you in my prayers xo

mail4rosey said...

I'm sorry you lost your brother. Thank you for sharing, and for your kinds words.

mail4rosey said...


Thank you, Judy. I thought of you, remembering the nice tributes you've had up recently for your family members who have passed.

mail4rosey said...


Thank you to everyone for taking time out to share your warm thoughts, nice comments, and prayers for all involved. I think it was really great of every single one of you to do so, and I appreciate it very much.

Colette S said...

Oh Rosey.
I feel your burden.
I am so sorry.

I do not have my father, so I understand the missing.

I pray time will heal your heart in many ways as God helps you through this chapter. *HUGS*