Tuesday, September 25, 2012

For SAHMs



This post is for the Stay at Home Moms.  Not to impugn the importance of any other type of mom...I am just curious to ask this particular group of moms a question:  Are you busier as a Stay at Home Mom than you were when you were working full-time?

I had a job in higher education administration for years.  I loved it, and I was busy.  I also was a mom, a wife, and a full-time student.  But I still had time for me, the kids, playing, watching movies, reading my newspaper (yeah, I'm one of those people who likes an actual newspaper), etc.

Now that I am a stay-at-home mom, I've become ever so inventive in finding ways to pay my credit cards (because I wouldn't dare ask hubby or he'd banish them, given half of them have a balance and he's THE MOST FRUGAL person I've ever met <-- a very good quality, but one I don't so strictly possess).  I also go to school (well, I'm writing my dissertation, which is basically the same thing...sort of), and I'm a wife...and of course, a mom.  So, being at home you would think things would be easier, that I'd have more 'me' time, more time to relax?  Right?

NO!

My favorite newspapers were stacked so high (and unread) that I cancelled the costly subscription.  I'm constantly meeting deadlines, looking at a schedule of to-do things that is too congested, and chasing my tail to keep up.  I have to force myself to carve out play time, and remind myself often that my family is my priority, not the other things that matter, but don't matter as much.  And then there are the "unexpecteds" that pop up...like a call from the school to get my child who fell off of the monkey bars and the subsequent discussion with the pediatrician; a very dear sick family member; a friend in need, etc. 

I'm not complaining.  I like to be busy.  But I am curious, if you are a stay-at-home mom, is it a LOT busier than you daydreamed it was going to be?  I was thinking tons of play time with the little one, elaborate cooking, Mommy and Me classes, a little leisurely reading...hahahahahahahhahahahahhahahaha.  In retrospect, I should have known better, but wouldn't my fantasy world have been such a nice reality?!?  :)

My youngest just started school, so as soon as I finish  my dissertation, my stay-at-home life will be over.  But it sure was different than what I'd thought. 

How about you? 

22 comments:

  1. now with two children one is 2 the other is 4 months. yes life is alot busier than i thought it would be staying home. having to entertain, watch, teach the children, clean house, cook all meals, laundry, dishes, appointments. i hardly have time for myself. i don't think i have taken a shower or even used the bathroom in peace for a year now.

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    1. Oh yeah... I forgot about days when you could actually enter the bathroom by yourself, lol!!

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  2. I'm equally busy. I was a stay at home step-mom for 10 years, and then started into my own businesses when the youngest was 16, and could drive herself. Now, I'm super busy, but all of the housework, etc. is still there, so it's like double work. I just don't have the kids is the difference.

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    1. Exactly, it's double the work, but it's ok. :)

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  3. I was just saying this to someone today! I feel as though I am far busier staying home...maybe because I feel the need to keep myself busy? Not sure. I will say that I am however, far less stressed than when I was workiing f/t outside the home. So there's that.

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    1. People who have not stayed at home, or seen someone who has, never believe it (the busier part).

      The days just FLY by! Glad you're not feeling the stress at home that you did when you were working outside of it. :)

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  4. Yep, you nailed it. I thought the SAHM life was easier but it's not. I'm guessing it's because there's a soul tie attached to the work. What we do at home affects the very vibrancy of our family so we strive to nurture. It's a tough job. I thought I read somewhere that if SAHMs were paid a salary, we would be getting over $125k/year. I think that's accurate. It's the most important job we do.

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    1. What a lovely salary figure. Wonder if we start a petition to start getting paid. ;) :)

      I agree though, there are soul ties and it is the most important job we'll ever do.

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  5. Okay yes I am definitely busier now as a SAHM to 4 then I was a working single mom to two. It's a great kind of busy though! :)

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  6. Yes, we have 6 kids and there is never enough time to get everything done, and time for ourselves is hard to find.

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    1. There's the one crutch that is hard to overcome (spending time w/the spouse). We haven't mastered that one yet either.

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  7. I was never a mom when I worked. But my home responsibilities quadrupled when I became a stay at home mom. SInce I am the one at home I take care of everything related to the house which was not true when we were both working. I love being home to watch my son grow, but it is definitely not less work.

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    1. Housework takes on a new life when there are people in the house 24/7, doesn't it? :) I remember the days of 'You're such a great housekeeper!!!'

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  8. Great blog on Stay at home moms. I am a sahm and have been for 15 yrs and wouldn't change a thing. Thanks for sharing

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  9. I am glad that you shared your post about SAHM life. I work outside of the home, but often think about being at home. My mom was a SAHM and she was ALWAYS busy. For now, working makes sense for my family - but I am not truly fulfilled...my field of work is just not a good fit anymoe. I would love to work from home part time until my son goes to school. We only have one child, but TTC - with more than one, the cost of daycare would be quite a bit... I'm rambling (sorry). :)

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    1. Ramble away, I do it all of the time. :) I hope you find what is the perfect fit for you sooner rather than later. :)

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  10. Now that my kids are in school, I don't find my days to be as hectic like they are over the summer. I worked for my husband for a few months last year and doing that during the day, then coming home to do housework, homework, dinner, and family time about wore me out. So, for me, being a working mom is MUCH harder than being a sahm. Not that we don't have our challenges, but I'd rather deal with those than throw work on top of it all too.

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    1. Exactly! If we take on extra work, no one else is helping with it (well, in my some cases, I know there are exceptions). :)

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  11. Hihi, I have the same experience too, being a SAHM actually left me with less time than I ever had. Not that I'm complaining or that I would trade this for anything, but yes, sometimes I don't even have time to breathe, not to mention read the papers or blog hop! Still, thanks for popping by my blog. Just followed you on GFC, twitter and G+! Love your blog!

    Cheers,
    Summer
    www.ahappymum.com

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    1. Thank you, Summer. I just shared your face painting post, it was really neat!

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